It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
