So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize