so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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