Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
