I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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