I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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