the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
