What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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