I think i peed on brittanys purse
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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