How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
