oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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