I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
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I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
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