Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
