a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize