didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
