Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
