Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
