addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
