How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
