Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize