Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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