When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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