He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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