I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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