Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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