So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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