Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
