And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
