I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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