I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
