I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
