I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
