Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am available for nakedness
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
