and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
