ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
