Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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