I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
