He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
