what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
