No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
