So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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