his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I have post one night stand depression
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