it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
