Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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