a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I could make wine with my vomit
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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