Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
