maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
