She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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