So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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