I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
