I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
