Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She's the barista slut.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Your penis caused this!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
