Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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