Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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