i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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