Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
