Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
