2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Randomize
