Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
