dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
