one two three fourrrrnication!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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