I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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