I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
