cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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