i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
