I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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