3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
