too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
