Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
