I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
